Pete's
BarBQ
2399 Mission
Street/20th St., SF
Map
This Restaurant
Pretrial
hearing at Uptown
6/8/01
Guest
Judge Kesseau
The
BBQ of Pete was delicious in as many distinct and remarkable ways
as my companions Judge Turner, Judge Vardigan and The Judge McClure
were stupid from too much jus. The dinner of chicken, for $5.40 American
dollars, was not only non seulement but enough sustenance to feed
a man as vigorous as myself. It comprised a chicken of 1/4, moist
and tender, with or without the sauce du BBQ, and arrived with a rustic
beaked potato cooked in a furnace and overflowed with the butter.
It arrived also with your choice of the green fresh salad, the salad
of bean, salad of potato de terre, the salad of macaroni, and some
other salad with too many to mention. Also a fresh dinner roll of
expansive proportion. I licked my lip and dabbed them each one with
every bite of the succulent meet.
The
strange judges Turner and McClure had the combined plates of ribs and
chicken, and ate until all that was remaining was their fingers and
swollen bellies. Sadly, Pete does not have a toilette and The Judge
McClure is weak with a cane. When dinner made magic in him, he lurched
from the table and strived for the closest bar, more than 3 blocks away.
10 minutes later he had conquered only one block, limp limping like
my old grandpa Pierre with his infection of flexible sac. More hours
passed and we arrived at the bar in silence. Does the inside of such
establishment always smell so of the urine and why are we all like a
funeral, I say? BE QUIET NOW says Judge Turner and I see The McClure
is red as a punished bottom. VAYA BBQ OF PETE!!
Guest
Judge Kesseau
Turner
Pete's
BarBQ is not a BBQ. Nor do they serve barbecued food. What they serve
is rotisserie cooked meat, with "barbecue sauce" on it. While I personally
(for religious reasons) feel it should be illegal to call a place a BBQ
when it clearly is not, that doesn't mean you can't get a decent meal
there. Just be aware that you WILL NOT find true BBQ there. No smoke.
No wood. No fire. Not even charcoal.
That
said, Pete's is all right if you're looking for a cheap stuffing. Guest
Judge Kessleman (who insisted we call him The Bucket Mender) brought Pete's
to our attention. Repeatedly. Incessantly. In several languages. Those
of you familiar with The Füd Court Forum might know what I'm talking
about. We finally agreed to dine with him, in public even, largely to
stop the harassment. His costume and French characterization were a pleasant
surprise.
The decor
is "folksy" at best, and a "rat hole" at worst. But hey, if you're after
cheap grub you can't expect starched tablecloths. And I've certainly dined
happily in more modest places. If a skewer of chickens is leaned up against
the wall in the corner, just turn a blind eye. I ordered the chicken/rib
combo at the counter (with BBQ sauce!) and worked my way down to the sides
section. Got a baked potato, a big hunk of bread, and some multi-bean
salad. That set me back around $9, and the Coke put me over $10. Quite
a bit of food. A couple ribs (beef, I guess...) and a quarter-chicken.
The ribs were not too bad, slow-cooked and fairly tender. The BBQ sauce
was passable, of the sweet and slightly spicy variety. The chicken, however,
was quite good, as rotisserie chicken is likely to be. Juicy and falling
off the bone. Skip the other stuff and get the chicken. Bean salad, bread,
potato? Who cares? They were fine.
If you're
on a budget, not a high-society type, and pretty hungry, it might be worth
your time. Did I mention that it's not a BBQ?
Vardigan
As my
fellow judges pointed out, Pete's is not really barbecue. Which may be
why they spell it "BarBQ." This is misleading. But it didn't
irk me much, because what I got was quite satisfactory, and cheap as hell.
This is a quality American dive. For $5.40 before tax, I ate a quarter-chicken,
baked potato waylaid by butter, bean salad, a roll, and possibly something
else I'm forgetting. The chicken was incredibly tender and it seemed to
keep on giving, seemingly more than a quarter-chicken's worth.
Battered
into weary submission by guest-judge appeals in several tongues, we finally
dined with one Dee Stephen Keezler, perennial prankster in the Fud Court
Forum and sometime Frenchman (then known as Le Stephen Keezler). When
not waging lonely war on the unsavory entrepreneurs of his neighborhood,
Keezler has been enjoying the quarter-chicken meal for years, and I can
see why. If I lived around there I'd be falling by quite often, at those
prices. And it's good enough that I'd fall by if I were just passing through.
I
didn't see much actual barbecuing being done at Pete's. It was actually
barbecue-sauced meats, but for $11 you'll get a meal that'll fill you
up and out. We enjoyed our evening with Guest Judge Kessel(hoff), who
on this particular night seemed to be caught between continents or universes
or some such trouble.
My plate was comprised
of chicken and ribs (brushed with a nice sauce), baked potato, cole
slaw, a roll, and a soda. The food covered a whole range from okee dokee
to pretty darn tasty. On the lower level was the slaw, nothing to speak
of here, blah and bland. Next, the ribs, a healthy meaty serving all
sauced up, but none of the smoky savory goodness you get from a true
barbecued rib. The chicken was the best: juicy, falling off the bone
good eatin'. The baked potato made a great side, all buttered up with
a little sauce mixed in, nice.
The atmosphere at
Pete's is somewhere between a high school cafeteria and a bus station,
with all the characters you'd expect. There's nothing fancy about Pete's
but you do get a decent meal that'll stick to your innards. They close
early so get there well before 8 p.m. or you may be locked in and who
knows what happens then.
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