Meats Burger Bust!
NationWide Freezer Meats
1930 H Street/20th
Sacramento, CA Map
Some time ago, a group of bay-area based volunteers helped Rick move
to Sacramento. After a long day of physical labor, these volunteers happened
upon Nationwide Freezer Meats, and lo, their bodies were replenished
by the remarkable burgers vended there. Furthermore, their imaginations
were captured by certain Polaroids posted on the wall which showed Nationwide's
more robust patrons consuming multiple patties. A discussion, of a rather
competitive nature, ensued. There might even have been some scoffing,
or so the legend goes. In the days that followed, the matter was not
dropped. In fact, facilitated by email, tensions escalated. Challenges
were issued, stakes were raised. Astonishing claims were made. Finally,
the only option left was decisive action. The Nationwide Burger Bust
was officially convened.
The day dawned warm
and lovely, as many days do in Sacramento. By lunchtime we had gathered
at Rick's apartment, which
is really nice and much bigger than mine and also cheaper, damn him!
There was some nervousness among the participants, at least those who
had committed to multiple patties. The exception, of course, was Jay,
who was shockingly nonchalant. His air of confidence seemed incredible,
given what he proposed to do: eat a whopping 5 patties. I've seen very
capable eaters hesitate to get a double, and panic at the thought of
a quad. I wished him well, of course, but I must admit, I doubted.
Steve, the most familiar with Nationwide, refused to state how many
he would attempt to eat, reserving the right to make a last minute
decision when placing his order. Actually, ordering was delayed a few
because the regular cashier wasn't sure how to ring up super colossal
burgers. The manager was summoned to do some math. Even with plenty
of time to think, Steve stepped up to the challenge and went for 5,
Chris, who calmly added cheese to his burger as well. The Nationwide
staff exchanged anxious glances. The cook came out to size us up. We
sealed the deal with payment, and staked out a sizable table, next
to a group of Girl Scouts who were making sales from inside a fort
boxes. "Ewwwww gross" they squealed, when they saw our order
arrive, but I really don't think they were in any position to judge our
And so it began.
Those of us with
the regular French Ground Steakburger (single), and even those with
doubles (Jenny Reno
Rocks!) of course finished first, so we were free to unnerve the
Big Three with relentlessly close observation and constant photos.
most part, they didn't falter. Steve had a close call when Jenny
Reno made him laugh, and he turned a bit red and threatened to break
a sweat, but he played through it and completely regained momentum.
Jenny was warned to stop being funny. Chris, silent, worked his way
cascading cheese. Jay, incredibly, augmented his meal with an order
of fries, most of which he even ate. Unruffled in the extreme, he
chatted casually, occasionally bouncing his baby (Peter) on his knee.
to realize that he was a very talented eater, perhaps championship
I will not underestimate his prodigious capacity in the future.
Will we ever know its full potential? It was a riveting performance,
he topped off by eating several Girl Scout cookies, Samoas, I think.
All burgers were
finished completely, and when it was over, there were a few moans and
groans, but everyone agreed that they didn't
bad as they should, given what had gone down. Stay tuned for
the sequel - there has been talk lately of six patties!